Have been in a somber mood pretty much since yesterday afternoon since my eldest son, Luigi, told me that one of his schoolmates died last Thursday from a car crash. Turns out that she was about to go malling with her family when the tragedy occurred. Though her whole family was also hospitalized due to the accident, it was only her who suffered the ultimate misfortune. L

As it is, death is something which a lot of us dread. When it happens to one so young, healthy and full of life, it just feels like the burden becomes greater to bear… I could only imagine the grief that her parents must be going through right now. I totally agree with the person who said that we grieve more deeply when a child precedes a parent as this does not follow the “natural order” of things. After all, how many times have we heard of parents working so hard to try and make the world a much better place for their children? When children pass on before their parents, like what happened to this 8 year old, it just does not seem fair.

I pray that peace comes out of this tragedy and that a deeper understanding of a loving God comforts all of us in the face of such seemingly inexplicable loss. God rest your soul, Mahnoor, and may angels welcome you to your everlasting home.

Life is not always fair, but God is always faithful.

Being the perpetual worrywart that I am, I find myself returning to the vicious cycle of fear and worry everytime something is out of whack in my usual predictable life. Dreading any form of exercise, especially the "spiritual muscle-strengthening" kind, I also find that factoring out the fear is easier said than done in circumstances which throw you off your comfort zone.

That is why these excerpts from our Daily Bread which I will share with you prove so useful to me - they allow me to make sense out of the chaos that life's downturns sometimes bring. To all the worrywarts out there, hope these help you out in some way too. Happy reading!

ü When something concerns us, what’s our perspective? It’s not what we see but how we see it that reveals our attitude. If we look at life through the lens of our powerful and good God, we’ll trust Him instead of fearfully worrying. When our perspective is right, we can see God and His faithful provision.

ü More absurd are our thoughts of worry and fear when we consider that we have a powerful and good God who cares for us. Jesus said we don’t have to be fearful or worried, because our heavenly Father knows our needs, and we are valued by Him. He is perfectly willing and able to meet our needs.

ü Let’s remind ourselves that fear primarily focuses on protecting and preserving “me.” Overcoming fear begins with deciding that some things in life are more important than ourselves.

ü We need another ingredient to release the power of the love that conquers fear. That ingredient is trust. Trusting that God will protect you when you are fearful, that God will reward you when you feel at risk, that God will give you guidance and courage when you feel lost and intimidated is what it takes to defeat the fear that holds you back.

ü When our lives are impacted by sudden change that turns life upside down, it can be spiritually dangerous. Ending up in the ditch can easily make us feel a little shaky about our faith in God. That’s the kind of change the psalmist wrote about in Psalm 11—the kind of change that threatened everything he believed. How do we respond when the foundation of our faith begins to wobble, when our troubling circumstances make us question God?

ü Radical change can either foster debilitating fear or confident faith. Fear haunts our hearts when all we can ask is “What am I to do?” Faith cuts to the exclamation point: The Lord is in control!

ü In the midst of the changing circumstances of life, we have a choice. We can live in fear of all the uncertainties, or we can cling to the reality of God’s sustaining and intervening presence in our lives. When we find our strength in the fact that our Almighty God is on the throne and has everything under control, the defeating question marks are replaced with the confidence of His exclamation points, and that’s a welcome change!

And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? MT 6:27

Woke up earlier than usual today. After almost 10 years of marriage, it's funny how sleep somehow eludes me everytime I don't find myself beside Keith when I wake up in the morning... then I noticed how peacefully our three "gremlins" were sleeping, thus the inspiration for this post... Have a blessed day ahead!

As they sleep, a flood of emotions surges in

There is quiet.

There is peace.

In the stillness, I am made more aware

of the hand of a loving Creator

who has entrusted these angels to us

so beautifully, so wonderfully made

In their slumber, I am reminded

of child-like confidence

of total surrender to a Father’s will

I am thankful.

I am richly blessed.

Hope you all get inspired by this post. Any of you know how we could get involved in GK from outside the Philippines?

Tony Meloto, the visionary and driving force behind the Gawad Kalinga movement, is gifted with a Doctorate of Humanities, Honoris Causa, by the Ateneo de Davao. He then delivers a speech to the graduates of the university, a challenge actually, for patriotism and heroism. The same message will be given to eight other colleges and universities who have asked Tony Meloto to be their commencement speaker for 2007.

The Filipino Spirit is Rising

Antonio Meloto

2007 Commencement Exercises

Ateneo de Davao University

Today, I feel intelligent. Not only am I addressing some of the brightest minds in Mindanao , but I am also being honored by this prestigious university with a Doctorate in Humanities, Honoris Causa. This is the first doctorate that I have received and I am accepting it in all humility and pride as a recognition of the nobility of the cause and the heroism of the thousands of Gawad Kalinga workers that I represent. Thank you Fr. Ting Samson and Ateneo de Davao for bestowing the highest academic degree on a man who was born without a pedigree- the "askal" (asong kalye) who went to Ateneo and came back to the slums to help those he left behind.

To a person like myself who did not excel in Ateneo in my pursuit of a college degree, receiving this Ph. D. is extremely flattering being fully conscious that my principal role in this movement is to be the storyteller of the many who put in the sacrifice and the hard work and yet have remained mostly unrecognized. It is also exhilarating because it builds on the growing global awareness, triggered by Gawad Kalinga and other movements that have not given up on our country, that the Filipinos can and will build a squatter-free, slum- free and hunger- free Philippines by committing their collective genius, passion and strength towards restoring the dignity and the potential for excellence of the poor, the weak and the powerless.

The Filipino spirit today is rising wherever he is in the world. He is starting to discover that he has the power to liberate himself

from being a slave of the past… that he can remove the label stuck to his soul as a second class people from a third world country… that he can correct the scandal of history of being the most corrupt in Asia despite being the only Christian nation, until East Timor, in the region.

In the right setting the Filipino has proven that he can be law- abiding, hardworking, honest and excellent.

Over the years, I have not met a Filipino beggar in my travel to the US, Canada and Australia…not a single beggar that I have seen or have heard of out of more than 2 million Filipinos in the US; many Caucasians, Afro- Americans and Latinos- yes- but no Filipinos. Clearly, it is not the nature of Filipinos to beg if he is in the right home and community environment. The mendicant culture in his native land is man- made and artificial and can therefore be unmade and corrected if we give him back his dignity which is his birthright as a son of God.

In the same vein, we know that the Filipino is not lazy. Time Magazine in its 2006 article on Happiness identifies the Filipino as one of the ethnic groups in America least likely to go on welfare. How many of us know of friends and relatives who would take on two or even three jobs in pursuit of their dreams for a better life. Hardworking when motivated, resilient when tested- that is the Filipino…that is us. It is no surprise therefore that the average income of the Filipino- Americans is higher that the US national average; the former slave is now richer than the master in his master's home country.

We must believe that we were designed for excellence. World- class Filipino doctors and nurses are healing the sick of America and Europe. Our sailors dominate the seas in every mode of marine transport for commerce and pleasure providing every imaginable form of service- and often always, they are the best navigators, the best chefs, the best entertainers. Thriving economies in Asia carry the mark of Filipino managerial expertise in their start-up stage. Filipino CEOs, CFOs, COOs captain top multinational corporations carrying on the proud expat tradition of SGV's Washington Sycip, PLDT- SMART's Manny Pangilinan, P&G's Manny Pacis and many others.

Sadly, we are top of the line, crème de la crème, the best of the best elsewhere in the world except in our homeland. While the Jews and the Arabs were busy building abundance out of their desert, we were busy creating a desert out of our abundance.

Let us put a stop to our inanity and hypocrisy. Let us stop cracking jokes about our shame and misery. Instead let us celebrate with our hard work and integrity the return of our honor and pride as a gifted people, blessed by God with this beautiful land. Let us honor every great deed, every sacrifice, and every kindness that we extend to our disadvantaged and needy countrymen.

Let us put an end to our lamentation. We have suffered long enough. For 400 years, we have been gnashing our teeth, blaming one another, stepping on each other and yet have the temerity at the end of the day to ask God why this is happening as if it was His fault. It is now time to hope, to care, to work together and to rejoice.

Yes, we will rise as a nation if we nurture this emerging beautiful spirit of the Filipino and cultivate an intelligent heart. How? When we show our love for God by being our brother's keeper- giving land to the landless, homes to the homeless and food to the hungry. This is about love and justice in a country where the majority of our people are landless, millions of them living in shanties and slums and 17% of them experiencing hunger in a rich and fertile land. This is not about charity but about authentic Christian stewardship and nation- building.

We will rise as a nation when rich Filipinos will consider the poor as an heir, like our youngest child, equal in worth and dignity with our own children, deserving an equal share in our children's inheritance. A beautiful spirit and an intelligent heart consider the poor as family, see the face of Christ in them, and see the paradise that every slum community can become. That is why every GK home is beautifully painted and the standard of landscaping of every GK village is Ayala Alabang or Ladislawa in the case of Davao .

When we build first world communities for the poorest Filipino, we give them dignity and first world aspirations that will motivate them to dream bigger and work harder with support and nurturing. A recent study of GK Brookside, Payatas conducted by the UP Diliman College of Economics revealed an amazing result – the confidence and self-respect of the residents, many of them former scavengers, rose from 17% before GK to 99% after GK; 93% consider themselves better off in terms of quality of life and 96% believe that their economic situation will improve in the future. Clearly the spirit of the poor is rising because those with the most share their best with the least.

This nation will rise if her sons and daughters abroad will see wisdom in helping not just their relatives, which is an admirable Filipino trait, but also the poor they do not know who need help the most.

Last night, I arrived from a 1- week trip to the U.S. for the world premiere in Chicago of "Paraiso", the Gawad Kalinga movie, and to attend GK events in Los Angeles and Las Vegas . The movie was a big hit but the bigger hit for me was the phenomenal response of our patriots in America to help the motherland by building self-reliant and sustainable GK communities. The UST Medical Alumni Association of America Board was planning not just building more houses but also hospitals and community health programs through Gawad Kalusugan. USTMAA president Dr. Primo Andres is building a beautiful GK Village for his wife, Sylvia in Panabo, Davao where she comes from as an expression of his deep affection for her. Another Davaoeno, former Cabinet Secretary Cito Lorenzo, joined me in booming Las Vegas to honor Filipino entertainers and realtors who are investing in the rebuilding of their home country.

Passion for the Philippines was evident everywhere I went. From successful young San Diego businessman Tony Olaes who spoke about sleepless nights in his excitement to help fund 20 new GK villages with his Filipino business partners to the SouthCal Ancop Sikad Bikers pedaling to build Sibol Schools and the Bayanihan Builders who are retired professionals in Los Angeles repairing homes of neighbors to raise resources to build homes in Bicol, to the 8 nurses in NorCal working extra shifts to fund their individual GK villages. The Filipino exile is waking up and starting to unleash a stream of Patriot Funds that will augment the OFW flow in fuelling the Philippine economy.

Today, I am here to salute the beautiful spirit and the intelligent heart of the people of Mindanao . Many of our volunteers here, like many in other parts of the country, build homes for the poor when they themselves do not own land or home. Christians here starting with caretakers from Couples for Christ set aside fear and comfort to serve our fellow Filipinos in Camp Abubakar and other Moslem GK communities. Your students are going out of the classrooms to learn about life and love of God and country by serving in poor communities. The LGU of Davao led by Mayor Duterte and many throughout Mindanao are doing massive land banking in solidarity with our conviction that no Filipino deserves to be a squatter in his own country. And many families here are starting to understand that giving a part of their land to give dignity and security to the landless and homeless poor is not only right with God but also builds peace, triggers economic activity, improves land values- creates a win- win situation for all.

And to you my dear graduates, what can I say? Congratulations of course for finishing what you began and for joining the ranks of the elite few of the Filipinos with a college degree. I thank your parents for their sacrifice and for giving us sons and daughters who will steward this country better than us.

You are entering adult life equipped with a degree from a respected university at an auspicious time in the life of our country. It is your destiny to reach maturity during this great season of hope, this exciting time of awakening, this period of great challenge and heroism.

You have the choice and the opportunity to correct the mistakes of our generation and build a future full of hope in this country. You can be the new breed of political leaders who will gain your mandate through visible and quantifiable performance, rather than mastery of the art of winning elections through cheating and corruption. You can be the new captains of business and industry who will work for profit with a conscience, expanding the market base by wisely investing in developing the potential of the poor for productivity. You can be the new elite of this country who will not be happy to send your children to exclusive schools and live in exclusive subdivisions if out of school street children are ignored and Lazarus continues to live as a squatter outside your gates.

Who can stop us from claiming our Promised Land? Spain is not our master anymore. America is not our master anymore. Japan is not our master anymore. Our enemies are not the corrupt politicians, the greedy rich, the lazy poor, the religious hypocrites and other convenient scapegoats. Our enemies are not out there anymore. Our enemies are now within us.

We have compromised our values and tolerated corruption. We have lowered our standard and tolerated poverty. We have sacrificed the truth for hypocrisy. We have chosen convenience for vision, popularity for leadership…and have chosen despair over hope.

Do we fight or do we run? Is there a King Leonides among you who will fight for honor and freedom? Are there 300 Spartans among you who will confront our enemies with extraordinary courage and love? Can you be the army who will lead our people to victory following the path of peace? Are you the generation of patriots who can shout to the world that no Filipino will remain poor because you will not allow it; that no Filipino will remain a squatter because you will not allow it; that no politician will remain corrupt because you will not allow it?

If you are, then join us in Gawad Kalinga. Together, we can build a great nation, first world in the eyes of God and respected by other great nations.

Godspeed to you our patriots and heroes. God bless our beloved Philippines.

It’s been exactly 1 year and 9 days today since I said goodbye to my corporate career and embraced my new-found career as full-time stay-at-home wife and mother.

True, it’s not been all roses thus far as there are certainly days when I tend to look back on my “glory days’, so to speak – when I was actively involved in the rat race and would get my adrenaline rush from hitting asset and liability targets or from exceeding service standards. Life then was indeed very much different from the life I now live.

Back then, the sense of achievement and appreciation was much more instantaneous and predictable – simply exceed what was expected of you and you’d certainly be on your way up the corporate ladder with matching financial incentives to boot. Today, it sometimes is a struggle to know where I am exactly – whether I’m doing a good job or not or whether I am actually “adding value” to my husband and childrens’ lives by taking care of them full time.

It’s very tempting to just re-live my glory days in my mind to find satisfaction and meaning in the seemingly mindless routine I now live day-in day-out.

Don’t get me wrong, though, I still choose to be where I am now. Never mind the chores that never seem to get done or the “tutoring sessions” and “refereeing” I do almost everyday for our three growing, active and precocious children. Life has indeed been very different yet, in a strange sort of way, also very fulfilling.

I thank the Lord for giving me a new opportunity to go out of the “comfort zone” (yes, my “stressful comfort zone” seems to be a more appropriate term) I was in for the past 12 years of my corporate life to try something new and many times more exciting than what I had before. True, the recognition and appreciation from colleagues and peers are now but memories yet the innocent shrieks and lovable smiles from my little girl or my two growing boys asking for seconds because they loved what I prepared for them are just a few of the perks that I would never trade-in for any promotion or financial incentive in the world!

Let me end by sharing something I read recently which seems to reinforce the thought that my “diva days” are certainly not half as bad as my “glory days”:

“It’s been said that each life is like a book, lived one chapter at a time. If you think your most fruitful years are behind you, remember you’re writing a new chapter now. Learn to live each day with contentment in the present.

Living contentedly in the present has a way of making us productive for a lifetime—for God’s glory.”

This is our house. It is the place that Keith and I have called home for the past 5 years prior to our move here to the kingdom. It is here that we have made memories and shared a life together – raising children, welcoming friends and family, where we exchange interesting stories and conversations and essentially sought refuge in after long, tiring days.

I had a dream about this house two nights ago and it somehow kept me awake from 3 am onwards. Not that the dream was scary or anything… guess it just struck a sentimental chord in me and made me miss our life in Manila a wee bit more.

It also made me remember the wonderful lyrics from Jose Mari Chan’s song “Constant Change” and found how appropriate these were in our current life situation. Allow me to share bits and pieces with you (at random and in no particular order) so you may also take this “sentimental journey” with me.

Constant Change

“What’s the most mundane thing you do?”

Funny how this question from one of my earlier job interviews can take on a whole new meaning given my new state of life as full-time stay-at-home wife and mother.

First of all, I was thankful then that I even knew the meaning of “mundane” (i.e., routinary) lest my Brit interviewer would’ve perceived me as totally “daft” (i.e., stupid).

“Filing” was my answer of choice then yet now… it’s a totally different ball game! Things have definitely changed. Everything in my daily workday seems mundane. After all, I do have to follow some sort of routine to accomplish (or at least try to) all the things I have to do (cooking, dusting, cleaning, checking homework, refereeing the boys’ spats and taking care of the baby, to name a few!) and to create some semblance of order in my chaotic “DD world” where everything seems to be happening all at the same time!

Back to the question. What is the most mundane part of my usual day?

Top-of-mind answer: Dish duty.

Washing the dishes is something I do at least thrice a day – breakfast, after I cook and lunch (as dinner dish duty is reserved for the hubby). I used to view this as a no-brainer and I usually just breeze through it provided there are no interruptions (i.e., Marga screaming for attention or the boys insistently wanting a piece of me for some reason or another). Yet now, I find myself actually enjoying washing the dishes (do I hear a collective gasp out there saying how low I have actually gone?).

Before you think I have sunk to the lowest depths of Domestic Diva Despair, let me explain myself. Apart from being quite enjoyable, I find dish duty therapeutic.

Each time I put away the food remnants from the dishes, pots and pans and utensils, rinse off, sponge/scrub with warm, soapy water and then rinse off again, I can’t help but find a parallel in this exercise with life in general. Why so? It’s as if dish duty reminds me that no matter how dirty, greasy or ugly it may get, there’s always something to wash away all the filth, grime and grease and to make us clean again. No matter how crazy life gets sometimes, it will always get better and we will always hopefully come out of the experience cleansed and “ready for next use”.

Am I putting too much meaning in this seemingly mindless activity? Maybe.

But in this exciting “adventure” I am now in, finding fulfillment and meaning in dish duty works for me.

How about you? What’s the most mundane thing you do?

Catch y’all later.

Three weekends back, Keith was finally able to arrange for assistance from his office maintenance personnel to set-up the remaining paintings and wall fixtures in our flat. At least, it’s beginning to feel more and more like home in our tiny haven here…

Among those that were displayed was a tie-dye project my Mama did while she was keeping herself busy in their Nagoya, Japan posting during my dad’s “drug lord” days (I often jokingly refer to my Papa as a “retired drug lord” – having been an expatriate executive for a top American pharmaceutical company for 30+ years until his early retirement two years ago). Mama admittedly enjoyed their Japanese stint since she really took the opportunity to immerse herself in the local culture by taking up lessons in Nihongo, ikebana (the Japanese-style flower arrangement) and tie-dye. Back then, she could also whip up a mean chawaan mushi (delectable egg custard) and various kinds of sushi – yummy! Oops, pardon me if I digress a little bit as thoughts of delicious food can really put you off-track sometimes (foodies out there, y’all know what I mean)…

Going back to Mama’s “opus”, we now proudly display it on the wall above the mini-computer nook in our room so that we actually see it every single day. Given the circumstances, I couldn’t help but do some “art interpretation” on the work.

Picture this: four boats sailing on a calm, blue sea with the fiery sun on the horizon and two solid mountains on separate sides. I admit I may be seeing more than what was actually intended but I hope you indulge me in this “creative exercise”.

So what exactly do I see when I look at the painting? What story does it tell me? Well, I see the four boats representing my mom’s four children (myself, Monty, Pippo and Rina) sailing along on the blue sea of life as we try and get to our respective destinations (i.e., goals and dreams in life) before the sun sets on all of us. Though sailing separately, we remain connected and are within “seeing distance” from one another – I view this as an analogy of how communication can keep us together though we may be physically apart (both my sister and I are now overseas while the two boys are in Manila). As in all seas, I reckon that it won’t always be smooth sailing for us so we have to stop and rest awhile at times to re-focus and assess where we are and where we want to go. This provides the opportune time to momentarily dock on the two mountains (which I view as representing Mama and Papa, our two strongholds who have always been there for us) so we may recharge and gain the proper perspective before we set sail again and savor what life has to offer.

True, I may have read much more that what was actually there (for all I know, my Mom just wanted some sort of creative outlet when she did this!) but it certainly made me reflect on how blessed I am to have been born in my family. It may not be perfect but it is definitely the right one for me.

So, when you look at the painting, what do you see?

Enjoy the rest of the week!

The past few days have been chaotic - it all started last Saturday afternoon when Marga developed a fever. I thought it was related to her teething - since she finally cut a lower tooth the day before ... until things just got more and more out of whack as the days wore on .

So far, Marga has also developed a viral infection in both eyes (which caused her eyes to swell and have a yellowish discharge) and also a bum tummy which started this morning. What's more, even the two boys have followed suit with maladies of their own - Luigi with a swollen throat and Rafa also with eye infection! Add all of these to undone chores, my being sleep-deprived and anxious about the kids' well-being and a chicken pox outbreak advisory from the boys' school... What have we got? Crazy days are definitely here again!

Keith has been reminding me time and again to get a grip - as I surely lose it during times like these (perfect example - I find myself crying in exasperation and exhaustion over the fact that Marga managed to poop and mess our sheets right after I cleaned her up but before I could put a new nappy - waaah! ). Can't believe a rush credit proposal for a treasury deal during my rat race days seems so much easier compared to this!

What to do? Time to re-focus, I guess... Good thing that Marga is now peacefully napping so I had the luxury of checking my daily readings and whaddyaknow, looks like I was being directed to these entries to help tide me over these trying times...

• Strength and weakness of heart is found not when everything is going our way but when flames of suffering and temptation test the mettle of our character. As gold and silver are refined by fire, and as coal needs time and pressure to become a diamond, the human heart is revealed and developed by enduring the pressure and heat of time and circumstance. Strength of character is shown not when all is well with our world but in the presence of human pain and suffering.

• We hate pain, especially in those we love. Yet without discomfort, the sick wouldn't go to a doctor. Worn-out bodies would get no rest. Criminals wouldn't fear the law. Children would laugh at correction. Without pangs of conscience, the daily dissatisfaction of boredom, or the empty longing for significance, people who are made to find satisfaction in an eternal Father would settle for far less.

• If God had the power and wisdom to create this physical universe, there was reason to trust that same God in times of suffering.

• Natural disasters and times of crisis have a way of bringing us together. Hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, riots, illnesses, and accidents all have a way of bringing us to our senses. Suddenly we remember our own mortality and that people are more important than things. We remember that we do need one another and that, above all, we need God.

• "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

True, these words seem easier said than done yet in crazy times like these, they surely feed my weary body, mind and spirit. Guess I'm sticking it out for this bumpy ride after all... for I know that there is Someone out there who is far greater than all this pain and will make sure that I will somehow survive.

Here's looking forward to my next "normal" blog .

For those of us who grew up in the 80s and 90s, the song "Manic Monday" will ring a familiar bell for sure ... No, I'm not about to do a nostalgia trip here. It's just that one part of the song's lyrics is very descriptive of what I have been experiencing these days - "Six o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream...these are the days when you wish your bed was already made!". This holds true for me during weekdays when I have to make sure I am up by 6 am at the latest so that I can be sure that my boys (Keith included) eat a good breakfast and that Luigi and Rafa have their packed lunches ready before they set out for the day.

The difference today, however, is that I choose not to dwell on how manic a Monday it is. Instead, I take my cue from our good friend Peachy's "Thankful Thursday" posts and will choose to focus on what is good in my life that I should give thanks for. Happiness, after all, is a choice, right? Considering that I already honored my dear hubby during my 1st SSS post, the next "big thing" that I am definitely thankful for are our children - Luigi, Rafa and Marga.

In this post, I wish to thank each of my children since I believe doing so is also my way of honoring Him who has entrusted the care of these wonderful blessings to Keith and I. Here goes...

Luigi, I thank you...

...for your "carinoso" and affectionate ways - I feel very special when you ask me to hug you, kiss you or tuck you in at night

...for being a responsible and loving kuya, especially now that you dutifully watch over your little sister when Mama needs to finish some house chores

...for letting me see parts of myself in you - I am amused to see how we share some interests, temperaments and inclinations

...for taking your studies seriously and for doing your best in your extra and co-curricular activities (PAL work, FOJ plays, Knowledge Bowl)

Rafa, I thank you...

...for your maturity beyond your 6 years - I never cease to be amazed everytime you make a very witty comment or ask questions I never expect from kids your age

...for reminding me to always pray in the mornings before you leave for school, before mealtimes and before going to bed at night

...for your energy and gift of gab - I love listening to your stories about school and I get amused everytime I eavesdrop on you doing your "special sound effects" and action moves when you are playing by yourself

...for being obedient and truthful to Papa and myself

Marga, I thank you...

...for bringing so much joy to all of us with your arrival - I never expected that I would still have a daughter after so long yet God is not to be exceeded in generosity since He gave you to us as a "bonus" gift

...for your innocent smiles, bubbly shrieks and endearing giggles - they surely make me forget how tired I am at times

...for letting me experience how it is to take care of you full-time, something I sadly never had the chance to do with your two kuyas

...for being very behaved and cooperative when you watch me cook, clean or do house chores from your stroller (although admittedly you also have your "off days", right?)

There are definitely more things to be thankful for about my children that escape my mind as I post this yet I am sure they will forgive me for not mentioning all of them.

As I sign off, I feel much better for not letting this day be "just another manic Monday"! Count your blessings!

Allow me to get a bit philosophical in this blog… Don’t know what set off this “senti” trip – must be my reminiscing Lea Salonga’s song, “The Journey” (typical BB/expat song, if you ask me!) coupled with a Dr Phil episode I watched a few days ago… Anyway, for anything this may be worth, here goes…

When Dr Phil mentioned that we should “live in the moment”, it definitely struck a chord in me. He said that most of us actually forget to relish the here and now by perpetually worrying over what is in store for us in the future and where we want to be. Very true! Not to say that we should just all go bohemian and throw caution to the wind in terms of what’s in store for us (so unwise especially for us who have the welfare of our young kids to think about, right?). What it means, I guess, would be for all of us to have a greater appreciation of what life is offering us NOW – for me, it means a loving family, healthy kids, experiencing an exotic culture and getting to live the “DD” life I have long dreamt of living – and not to be too preoccupied with our wants and dreams that it gets in the way of us living our lives now. It is enjoying the journey and learning from it while waiting to arrive at the final destination, so to speak (‘ika nga ni Mareng Lea, “Through the darkest desert, through the deepest snow, forward, always forward, I go!”).

Sure, there will always be greasy pots and pans to wash but this should not prevent us from savoring the yummy tortang talong we cooked in them, right? Duh! Pardon the lame analogy… gutom na ata ako e! Hehehe!

So the next time my boys want me to play with them, I will make sure I make a mental note of this blog so that I may enjoy the moment more with them and not worry too much about the mound of washed clothes that needs folding or the furniture that needs to be dusted… Heck, there will always be the “dreaded C” (as in “chores”, as Weng puts it) but I’ll never know until when my boys will request to just be with me, right? Thanks, Lea and Dr Phil, for triggering this “paradigm shift”! I honestly hope it lasts long enough, though...

Till my next senti moment. Ciao!

Guys, allow me to get lazy this time while I reprint an interesting article I read from my devotional today. Knowing how popular "Charlotte's Web" is, especially now with the movie coming out, found this piece so "apropos"...

Read and enjoy!

(Adapted from an article originally written for the Our Journey devotional guide).

Was going through the Our Daily Bread devotional today and was moved to post this to hopefully encourage those among us who may be "down in the dumps" or "overwhelmed with concerns" lately... I, myself, have found comfort in these words as I admittedly get overwhelmed by the "domestic" part of my "diva-ness" many times .

Hope these words also help ease your worries! Read on and see if this also hits the spot for you as it did for me...

King David called on the Lord, and God enlarged him. "You have relieved (enlarged) me when I was in distress". Pressure on the outside should make us bigger on the inside. The trials of life will press against us and make us either midgets or giants--either smaller or bigger. But we have to start on the inside. "You have relieved me when I was in distress." How did this happen?

David cried out to God, "You have put gladness in my heart". He started out with sadness and ended with gladness. He started with tears and ended with triumph.

David discovered that what was important was not the circumstance around him but the attitude within him. Let God enlarge you when you are going through distress. He can do it. You can't do it, and others can't do it for you. In fact, others may want to make things even tighter and narrower for you. But when you turn to the Lord and trust Him, He will enlarge you on the inside. You'll come out of your distresses a bigger person because you've trusted in the Lord.

There is a relationship between our attitude inside and our circumstances outside. If we maintain the proper attitude, God will use our trials to enlarge us. Are you going through a trial today? Give your circumstances to the Lord and trust Him to enlarge you.

I pray that we all come out as "giants" after every trial, difficulty or inconvenience. O Lord, super-size me!

Ever since my wedding day nine years ago, Christmas day and the day following it have always held a threefold blessing – the 25^th being Christmas and incidentally, also my birthday, while the 26^th being our wedding anniversary.

This threefold blessing seemed to hold a deeper significance for me this year as we celebrated our first holiday season away from home. I felt that, more than ever, the Lord has been holding up his end of the bargain – that He would take care of us and prosper us as we ventured out into “the desert”. Why so?

First, He led us to people who have generously shared with us their resources. Since most of the Filipinos in Aramco are also on holiday, Keith and I were a bit skeptical that we would be able to attend Christmas day services there with no one to sponsor us. However, God is truly good as He made it possible for us to find a sponsor and thus attend the Christmas Eve mass. As an added bonus, Keith and I, together with the boys (little Marga was already sound asleep at this time) were even requested to be the “offerors” in the offertory procession. What can I say? God really works in marvelous ways!

Second, He has held us too to our side of the deal – that just as He has blessed us, we too must also be sources of blessings for others. What better way to do this than to also let “Bro Cuz” Rinel, Obet and Vic (Keith’s friends from the office) and Drs Berly and Vic (our doctor friends from SAAD) join us in the mass and also for a simple Noche Buena in our flat afterwards? Despite the innate stress of hosting (am truly my mother’s daughter!), I am happy that I overcame this feeling of “inconvenience” as there is definitely no greater joy than to see others also being touched by the Christmas spirit because you let them into your home on Christmas Eve!

Lastly, I feel that through all this, He has strengthened the bonds of love, understanding, support and patience in our family. Admittedly, being on our own has its “off days” which really put a toll on my patience – like when the boys seem to be especially naughty or when Marga cries incessantly and refuses to be put down on the bed – yet I believe that these difficulties only serve to build character. They also make me realize what a wonderful, supportive husband I am blessed with and that there are people beyond my immediate family who are more than willing to lend a helping hand.

Truly, God has been very good to us and has blessed us more than we could ever hope for. I pray that I remember this not only during the Christmas season but especially during times of inconvenience and difficulty. More importantly, may the Christmas spirit of love and sharing always be in all of us throughout the coming year.

Being in a place where a third of the population is composed of foreign workers, I was definitely prepared to bump into a Filipino in almost every place I go to here in KSA.  However, I was not prepared for the, shall we say, "term of endearment" that most Filipinos (us now included) use to refer to one another here - "kabayan".

First time I heard the term was quite unnerving (as echoes of Noli de Castro's modulated voice came to mind ... okay, okay, I admit, and also the typical Carlo J Caparas-ish OFW look - you know, long hair, mustache, acid-wash denim jacket and bullcap with matching hepatitic gold jewelry thrown in for good measure!) yet I now am pretty comfortable with the term and even hold a strange sentimentality to it, I suppose...

Why is this so?  What has kabayan meant to me so far?

It means the ...

• 
  
  Waiter in the Chinese restaurant who fondly held Marga's hand and who recounted to us teary-eyed how he had never yet seen his first child since he had to leave his pregnant wife behind to seek greener pastures and won't be back home until the next two years are up
  
  
• 
  
  Friendly restaurant manager who gave us 10% off our total bill just because we were kabayans
  
  
• 
  
  Thoughtful supermarket check-out guy who went out of his way to give me a seat when he saw how "loaded" I was (with baby and grocery bags in tow) while I waited for Keith to pick us up
  
  
• 
  
  Generosity of a senior Aramco executive and his wife for sponsoring us every week to get into their compound so we could attend "services" and thus strengthen our spirits
  
  
• 
  
  Friendship of a young couple who have opened their home to us several times so our family could unwind (swim, play table tennis and fuzball sans abayah) in a more relaxed environment and regain our sanity

These random acts of kindness are but a reflection of the goodness of the Filipino spirit and how, sadly, we seem to look out for one another more when we are overseas than when we are in our own country.  More importantly, being kabayan has prompted Keith and I to give back, in our own little way, to those who may also need our help in some way, whether here or back home.

After all, what goes around must come around, right? 

Till my next post, mabuhay mga kabayans! 

The past few days have been quite stressful for Keith and I since Marga was a bit under the weather due to a viral infection.  I just hate it when any of us gets sick, must be the worrywart (now, where could I have gotten this disposition?  I wonder!  Right, Mama?) and control freak in me...

What compounds the difficulty is that the only person we completely trust with our health care, Grammy Dollie, is a maddening 10-hour plane ride away! Thank God for the internet, though, that we are able to send near real-time observations and photos to Mommy to aid her in her diagnosis and prescriptions.

I'm sure most type As like me find illness (whether my own or one of my family) upsetting since it brings to the fore the fact that we are not totally in control - that no matter how hard we wish away that darn fever or that irritating infection, sheer will power just won't cut it.  It also makes me realize (yup!  things going well most of the time have a way of making me forget!) that there is definitely something, or more appropriately, Someone, out there who ultimately calls the shots - Him who is greater than all of us.  And in a weird way, although I am reminded that I am not fully responsible for taking away that @#$!? ailment, I am comforted by the thought that He is in control and that He will always do right by me .

What's more is that trying times like these allow us to rely on people outside our own immediate circle and later appreciate how all this falls right into place with His grand plan - to see Him working through other people as well. 

I am pleased to say that Marga is now fever-free and is back to her usual adorable self .  As the old cliche goes, thank you for all your prayers and support!

So what did this whole hoolabaloo teach me?  To put is succinctly, in the words of the good book, "Trust  in the Lord with all your heart, in your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and He will make straight your paths."

I pray that the Lord gives us all the grace to remember this as we bounce back from life's roadblocks.